My daughters start writing up their Christmas lists in the late summer after their birthdays have passed. I completely understand their excitement because obviously I was a kid once too. I usually don't even look at their Christmas lists for they are shared with both sides of their family and chances are my ex's family will get a majority of the things on them. I prefer to pick out things for them that I know they will like but that they might never think of. I believe that there should be an element of surprise about Christmas. I love my girls and I want them to enjoy their childhood, so while I remind them that the holiday is not about getting material things, I know they are still a bit too young to fully comprehend that. I have faith that it will come in time. I personally haven't made a Christmas list in many years. I can never think of anything I truly want or need that's so worth having someone should buy it and wrap it for me. I have grown used to just getting what I need when I need it. I feel trivial and materialistic when I ask for things I want. So if I do actually make a list I tend to put on it necessities like extra power cords or printer paper or other such less than personal items. I was married for many years and in all that time my ex only gave me something I actually wanted and didn't ask for a handful of times. Had he truly known me and understood what was important to me he might have had better luck. But that was not to be and he has someone new now and perhaps she makes more sense to him than I ever did. Regardless, I am quite happy with my freedom. I would never put this on any list but there will always be one thing I want as a gift: to have just one more day with my father. I would ask him all the questions I never took the time to and I would swiftly type up all of his answers so I could read them over for the rest of my life. Then I'd want to go on a walk with him and my daughters and show him around my house and where I live and introduce him to Jazzmin. Judging by her occasional random barks into the kitchen and at the front door, Jazz has already met my father and he apparently likes playing with her. I always welcome the visits his spirit makes upon me but I so long for one of his really tight bearhugs. While I may sometimes make up wishlists of random things I don't want to forget I need, I do not see myself ever writing up another true Christmas list. What I want is intangible really and won't fit under any tree or in any stocking. I truly cherish being with my family on the holidays and while I wish I could be with my friends too, they are so far from me that has yet to happen. It is enough for now that my friends are with me in spirit and only a text, email or phone call away. I have big dreams of someday having a grand holiday party in my future home in Massachusetts. I'll invite all my closest friends and fly them out if necessary and heck, I'll even invite the whole neighborhood! The holidays are about being surrounded by love and that is something that will never fit in a colorfully wrapped box tied with a pretty bow.
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AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
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