This past Sunday, May 6th, would have been my father's 71st birthday. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy day and in fact the weeks leading up to it were rough too. I tend to push certain thoughts away for as long as I can until they suddenly flood back to me and the dam breaks. Once that dam breaks it's hard to stop the tears so I hold it together for as long as possible. There are so many occasions and just daily events that make me miss my father. Taking walks through the woods, cooking the meals he showed me, having a rough day and desperately needing a hug from him. Barely a breath goes by where I don't long to hear him say "hey, beautiful" as he smiles warmly at me. I was always beautiful to him.
There was also a full moon this past Sunday and whenever I see the moon I think of my father. When I was a teenager he and I walked down to the park in the middle of winter to watch a lunar eclipse and I remember sitting on the swings with him listening to him talk about the stars and planets. My mother tells me that when I was little he used to take me out on his shoulders at night to say goodnight to the moon and while I don't remember that, my heart knows how sacred that is. So I went out Sunday night and stood in my back yard and waited patiently for the moon to rise over the hills. My black cat Owl kept me company as she nestled down in the grass and I eventually had to bring my dog Jazzmin out because she was displeased mama was outside without her. Having Jazz and Owl both out in the yard only created one instance of the dog trying to chase the cat and drag me after but once that was all straightened, life returned to calm. Watching the sky and clouds illuminated by the moonlight before it even cleared the hills was absolutely beautiful and for once it wasn't windy. I was chilled by the time the moon rose but seeing it full and bright warmed my heart and spirit. My father is always watching over his little girl and even through my tears I always see his kind face and feel his love for me in the light of the moon. I miss you, Daddy...
2 Comments
ss262
5/9/2012 10:42:41 am
Sorry you had rough day/weeks but it's a beautiful story... made my eyes sweat.
Reply
JulieAnn
5/10/2012 01:58:31 am
Thank you, ss262. I am honored when my writing touches people.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
All
Archives
May 2013
|