I stayed home from work today and it's something I haven't done in over a year. I've taken vacation days to go on fun and interesting adventures but for me to take a sick day I have to be in serious discomfort. I don't like being benched. Today I took a sick day because I have had an almost constant headache and neck ache for nearly a week. I twisted or pulled something in my neck and the more I move, the more the pain radiates up through my entire head. As I write this I'm sitting up in bed with a heating pad curled up behind my neck like a pillow and it's bringing much needed relief. Poor Jazzmin is confused as to why mama is home and not taking her for a walk but I'll make up it up to her with lots of hilly walks when I'm back up to snuff. I'm not one to accept being waylaid by sickness or pain. Despite my undying headache I still went to the gym twice this week and walked on my lunch breaks and did all the normal exercise I usually do. In hindsight, maybe I should have taken it easier on myself but I tend to be rather stubborn. I always get stubbornness and determination confused and when I get it set in my head that I want to do something, I do it. This trait of mine has led me to experience many life lessons that were nothing at all like I expected and to accept that the best laid plans are more like guidelines than how things will really work out. I've had a lot of time to think today and try to come to terms with certain things. There are some pages in the novel of me that I have to turn and I'm having a hard time with it. I don't want to move the bookmark; I don't want to put those chapters totally in my past where the memories of them will eventually fade. I keep hoping that if I just reread a certain page or paragraph a few more times I'll see where I went wrong and where life took a turn in the direction I never wanted it to go. The writing remains the same though, the words don't change and the experiences have all happened and time has continued on. Despite how I sometimes wish time would stop moving forward, it always does and I eventually remember that fighting it is a foolish waste of my heart and spirit. So I will turn the pages and I will start a new chapter and I will continue on with my undying optimism and hope. I always persevere and the sunshine always breaks through the storm clouds. Always.
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AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
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