Today is my birthday. When I was younger birthdays were the best days ever, with family, friends, fun, cake and presents. These days birthdays for me are bittersweet celebrations. I am blessed to have two beautiful daughters, a loving family and devoted friends and I will never take any of that for granted. Still, I selfishly wish my friends could be with me today and I still long for a present I know I can't have: my father back. I know my father is always with me in spirit and that he's at peace now but I miss those great, strong, tangible hugs of his every day of my life. I'll hug my girls a bit tighter today, take a bit longer to part from my mother this evening when dinner is over, and enjoy the long distance well wishes from my friends while wishing that they were with me in person...
For the past several years I've had a really hard time coming up with things to put on a birthday list. It isn't that I don't know what I want; it's that the gifts I want can't be purchased at any store in the universe. I want simple happiness, fulfillment, a great future for my girls, my mother to live forever, my brothers to be the men they were meant to be, to share my books and paintings with the world, to be able to sing without going flat (a girl can dream lol), to never be a burden to those who love me, to always be able to make people laugh and smile, to be the beautiful sunshine my parents always saw in me...and to have a man who can love me as unconditionally as my father did and see my light even when I am in the darkest of shadows. Oh, and to have some flowers actually bloom in my wreck of a garden this year would be great too. Not too much to ask for, I think? Intangible gifts are so much harder to acquire than tangible gifts but truly priceless. All the shiny, pretty things in the world are nothing compared to the love of family and friends and it is an amazing blessing when you finally realize that. Today is my birthday but I am not so conceited as to claim an entire day as my own, so I wish all who read this a truly wonderful day full of everything that touches your heart and lifts your spirit.
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AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
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