I am a stubborn little thing. When someone tells me I can't do something, I do my darnedest to prove them wrong. I have this eternal fire within me that drives me to work harder and test the limits of my own strength. For too long a period in my life I was made of this very fragile and breakable stuff and I had to be very careful to protect myself from any potential threat that might crack or shatter me. That all changed when my father died and I realized that protecting myself from living had robbed me of true happiness and allowed me to be unfairly trapped in a proverbial cave. I quickly rediscovered just how much of my father's strength and spirit exists within me once he was no longer on this earth to try and drive that point into my hard little head.
The quest to gain my own happiness and freedom was not an easy one, but my determination never faltered and I clung to the faith that life really would get better. I had some great friends supporting me through my transition and metamorphosis and they have my eternal gratitude! There were many middle of the night texts and tear-filled phone calls and unexpected and heart breaking setbacks but with a little (okay a lot of) help from my friends, I survived. Friendships that endured all that and continued into my life of freedom are more rare than diamonds and truly priceless. The weather this past weekend was absolutely beautiful and I spent the majority of it outside working on something or other. I weed whacked for the first time in my life and I actually had fun. Yes, I said fun, that wasn't a typo. My forearms were killing me and I was covered with dandelion guts by the time I finished but I was grinning from ear to ear because I had cleaned up MY yard! No one was there telling me I was doing it wrong or that I'd missed a spot or any such stupid thing. It's my house and my yard and while I might not do things the way others would, I don't honestly care because how I do things works just perfectly for me. I also planted my little flower sprouts in my first attempt at a real garden. My father's green thumb doesn't come naturally or easy to me, I really have to work for it, but I'm up to the task! The sun likes to mess with me, as my friend says, and it beat down on me the entire time I was sitting in my garden digging little holes, planting seeds and playing in the dirt. The back of my neck was thoroughly sunburned by the time I finished and stood up and it was then that the sun decided to vanish behind a huge bank of clouds. I rolled my eyes at the way Mother Nature toys with me but I smiled at my hard work. I don't know how many of my seeds will actually grow into mature flowers but I'm hoping by the end of summer I'll have at least a few daisies for my children to pick. Today every muscle in my body is sore and I'm scratched, bruised and burned but all I can say is...bring it! There's always a new challenge to face and new obstacles to overcome but I can handle it, I always do somehow. Go ahead and tell me I can't do something; I'll just dig my heels in, roll up my sleeves, muster my strength and set my stubborn little spirit in motion to prove you wrong.
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AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
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May 2013
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