Time is such an unusual beast sometimes. It can pass so slowly and painfully, or speed by far too fast, or seem to have not existed at all. Never underestimate the amazing powers time possesses. After not seeing my friend for several months I expected to cry the moment I laid my eyes on him. To my surprise, I did not. Why? Because the moment I saw him again it felt like barely any time had passed at all and that it had only been mere days since we said goodbye. I only know one other person who I feel that way about and she is my best friend whom I have known for over 20 years. She and I knew each other for many years before life and distance separated us, whereas the friend I saw this weekend I haven't even known a year yet. It is an amazing familiarity to find twice in my life and one I feel blessed to have. My east coast friend and I are kindred spirits but we're certainly not exactly alike. He is a laid back and yet hard worker and I am an overly energetic creature who has trouble keeping focused. Wise people say that finding balance is important and I think he and I balance each other somewhat. We are both finding our way in this confusing, obstacle-filled world and we are both optimists. His strength is far more obvious and honed where mine tends to be hidden and disorganized. I do not believe I am completely hopeless though. He took me to a butterfly sanctuary and it was a wonderful experience! I love butterflies and they are very symbolic to me of hope and renewal. To see them all flying around in clusters, pairs and solo was truly beautiful. We were both using our camera phones to take pictures of the butterflies and I watched enviously as he would touch the screen on his phone to make his camera focus where he wanted it to. My phone has no such feature and an upgrade is not in the foreseeable future, so the pictures I took with it did not always focus on my intended subject. As I watched him touching to focus the picture, it reminded me much of what it takes to make me truly find my own focus. I need to be touched. Touching me physically and touching my heart is a powerful combination and it helps bring everything into focus for me. I feel like this wild, flickering light that's always bouncing around seeking a place to rest and never quite finding it. I glow brighter sometimes and grow dim during other times and I know that if I just focus my energy, I can harness the light within me and intensify it for the whole world to see. My friend and I parted after not quite a whole day together and it was not easy for me to say goodbye. I vowed that I would see him again and I will. Time is still weaving a complicated path for he and I and the timing itself still isn't quite right but I have hope and my eternal stubborn determination to help me through. Like a finger upon a touchscreen, I will touch to focus, trace a path through and over any obstacles in the way, and press on until my light glows so bright it's blinding.
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AuthorMy words are like my brush strokes, I'm never quite sure where they'll flow to and when they'll stop. Categories
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May 2013
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